Much older than he looks!

Our illustrious vice chairman and assistant manager Bob Haywood should know by now never to fish for compliments.

Bob and his ever- radiant wife, Linda, went out for a meal to celebrate his birthday on April 20.

In a moment of vanity, he confided to a waiter that it was a special day and (as might be guessed) the lights in the restaurant were dimmed and the staff - singing Happy Birthday - arrived at the table with a cake with a lighted candle atop.

A boy at the adjoining table with his family (he turned out to be seven) seemed mesmerised by the fuss.

So ever-affable Bob - himself a devoted grand-dad - leaned across to invite the lad to blow out the candle on his behalf. Then the big mistake: Bob said: "How old do you think I am?"

The boy thought deeply, glanced at his father and ventured: "84?"

Bob, who was in fact celebrating his 74th birthday, said: "I won't be doing that again!"